All my life all I ever wanted to be was a mother. Well, maybe not all I ever wanted. I also wanted to be a teacher, a surgeon, a professional chef, a model, and a princess… in no particular order. But whatever else I wanted my future to look like, I always knew MOTHER was at the top of my list.
So when Mr. and I rode off into the sunset to start on our happily ever after, I was so excited to be with this amazing man and start a family. A year and a half later, when we drove off into the sunset, we were on our way to the hospital. I was pretty sure some construction had been done on the roads to add a few extra bumps here and there to make my contractions extra painful. I pushed for two hours, and finally my husband was showing me this tiny little person — who looked exactly like him — and my dream had come true. I was a mother.
My own amazing mother was there with me for two weeks to help me figure out how to keep this tiny person alive. Then she had to get back home, and that’s when it hit me. I had to keep this person alive without her! Mr. and I were completely responsible for this sweet little girl, and I had NO IDEA what I was doing!
Now as Mother’s Day approaches, I look back at that day just a few weeks shy of 13 years ago and realize I still have no idea what I’m doing. We have added 4 more sweet girls to our family, and I just hope I’m doing the best I can for them so that they can learn and grow and become the amazing women I know they are meant to be.
Recently, my cousin posted on Facebook that she was having a sit down with her 5-year-old daughter to talk about the rules of their home, and that little girl looked up at her mom and said, “Mom, are you just like making this up?”
Why, yes. Yes I am. And I just hope every day that I’m getting it right.